If I Were To Write A Book

So I have to do a ceremonial speech for my public speaking class and for a while I was thinking about doing mine as if I was at the press release of my new book titled, "How to be a 6-foot American in China." Well, I thought of another more creative and fun speech but I love the way this one turned out that I wanted to share it with people so you are all the lucky ones. It was fun to write so I hope it is just as fun to read!

How To Be A 6-Foot Tall American in China
I would like to welcome you all the press release of my new book titled, "How To Be A 6 Foot Tall American in China". This is the follow up book from my best-seller novel titled, "How To Grow Up Right With A Mullet". This is an autobiography based on my life as one of the tallest girls I know. It has taken me a long time to fully appreciate my height and understand that being tall has it perks, therefore, this book depicts my journey into loving my height. Today I would like to give you an inside scoop into my book by reading to you my dedication page. You will quickly find that it is not like most dedication pages.

This book is dedicated to:
*My mom for cutting my hair into a mullet when I was a kid…this taught me at a young age that it is okay to laugh at yourself
*My third grade language arts teacher for teaching me that being the only girl on the top row during class pictures isn’t all that bad
*The driver of the red mustang that I saw in CA whose license plate border read, “Get High, Love A Tall Girl”
*My best guy friend in college that told me, “Jill, I would totally date you if you weren’t so tall” and to that other guy who wouldn’t ask me to dance because I was so tall
*The little old man in China who shrieked and ran away from me when he saw my looming shadow come around the corner
*The adorable pink tennis shoes I found in China that were half a size too small but I squeezed into anyways. Eventually I ended up giving them away because I sprained my ankle while wearing them
*My first pair of long jeans that dragged on the ground even after I had on heels
*My first boyfriend in the 7th grade who didn’t care that I was 3 inches taller than him
*My church basketball coach who knew better than to let me play more than 5 minutes of the game but used me to intimidate the other team
* The little girl in Costco that looked up at me and than told her mom, “Mommy, she’s tall like Daddy.”
*To the father at the NSYNC concert (that’s right, I said NSYNC) who was behind me and asked me sit down because his daughter couldn’t see over me
*To the old women in the grocery store who ask me to get the items off the top shelves
*To my friend Lesley, for never letting me get away with saying I was 6 foot when I was really 6’1”. She never let me deny that extra inch when people would ask how tall I am.
*To my children who will support us in our retirement through their NBA contracts
*And most importantly, to my husband who is tall enough to allow me to wear heels and still feel protected